Do You Project Your Past Wounds On Your Relationship

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When we react in situations with another person it comes down to our personal beliefs, thoughts, and experiences.

We project our wounds from the past on the present situation. Trigger words tend to ruffle our feathers, and although the person in front of us has nothing to do with what has happen in our past, we relate the past experience on to the now.

Because we have had a traumatic experience with an ex-lover we assume the person we know at this moment will make the same choices. Fortunately, we sabotage ourselves by getting jealous, trying to control the situation, drawing conclusions and assuming because the same lesson appears, it will be the same outcome.

Lessons reappear because we have a tendency to think the same way, and do things the same way we’ve always done in the past. Sometimes we do have to change our thinking patterns and actions to get a different result.

Instead of making the same choices you’ve made in the past, what can you do differently today to get a more positive result.

Do you need to change your communication style, words in your vocabulary? Be more patient, understanding, compassionate, and be more empathetic?

Do you need to work on regulating emotions and feelings? Learning to respond rather than react out of fear? Do you need to let go of trying to control another person? Do you need to take the focus off the other person and pay attention to what you’re doing?

When you’re projecting fear, you produce fear in the other person. If you’re projecting love, you will get love in return.

What ever emotion you display whether it is anger, frustration, bitterness, resentment, or any kind of ill-intention with ill-motivation, you will get back in return.

There is no reason for us to act in fear, we can act in love and speak clearly and calmly with another person. We can respect other people’s boundaries.

When you see the best in another person, you can empower them to be their best. When you empower others to succeed and thrive they feel they’re in a safe place and not a danger zone.

Be deliberate with what you want to experience in a relationship. Let go of the fear and choose love. Trust is required in relationships. If you’re projecting fear on to the relationship, you’re giving the message you don’t trust the person. You’re giving a message that they will harm you in some way.

This shows insecurity and mistrust. If you want love you must discipline your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. You must become the essence of love and accept others where they are in the moment.

Projecting our version of who they are on to them isn’t who they are. They can only be their true and authentic self when you allow them to be who they are, not what you would like them to be.